LDR or a Long Distance Relationship is a bitch.
It’s true. It’s no fun. Looking back at it now, I wouldn’t recommend the setup to anyone. Who likes to sit and talk to a computer everyday (usually at the oddest hours of the day to accommodate different time zones) missing all the fun you can have outside in your REAL world? No one. But we had to do it because of the circumstances we were in.
Feeling miserable now? Keep on reading, this has a happy ending.
I met my partner (who’s British-Filipino) when he vacationed to the Philippines in February 2015. We met at his last week of his vacation so he extended one more week to be with me. When he left, I thought that was it. Holiday romance. Short but fun. Next.
But he kept calling, texting and Facetiming everyday. We built an everyday routine so that was a very good sign. After a month of Facetimes, we decided to have me visit him in London. I wasn’t working at that time so I was totally free. I flew to San Francisco to work for a month at my old school and then flew to London. To make a long story short, in the five months I stayed with him, we got to know each other very well and it made our bond stronger. Like hey, we can actually see a future together.
I went back to Manila and our whole LDR started again. Despite feeling very strongly about each other we still struggled to keep the everyday routine. Sometimes we felt that we were missing out on friends and family because we’d rather talk for hours on Facetime. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed confiding in each other and we really committed to making our relationship work so we communicated everyday without fail. But of course it felt tiresome too. As with our successes, we also poured our stresses and discouragement over this LDR setup. At our lowest moments we tried to call it quits. But then we’d talk after a few days. And we would try again. We were in this set up for a total of 9 months.
He visited me for two weeks in January 2016. When we planned for my next vacation to London, again I felt that I was ready to quit. I wasn’t thrilled to uproot myself, go on a vacation and relationship high, come back and start over. Another few months of LDR. When will it ever end?? So I told him that I need stability and permanence. Either we make plans for an immediate future or I’m going back to the US to find a job (it wasn’t really working for me in Manila). We didn’t talk for a few days. It was torture. But when we got into our senses and finally talked, he proposed.
Three months later, my fiancee visa was granted and I flew to London. We married the 1st of July in Islington Town Hall, London in the presence of our closes family and friends. We are now finally together – talking, eating, drinking, sleeping, sharing our innermost thoughts two inches apart, not 6,600 miles. We breathe the same air, laugh at the same funny thing and sleep arms wrapped around each other. And the superbonus is that we are finally married, so we can fully open ourselves up and love without fear.
If there is one positive thing about the pains of LDR, it’s that it made reunification oh so sweeter. Seeing him in the beginning and at the end of the day is pure sunshine in my life.
Hopefully you overcome this LDR bitch as soon as you can. I’ll share some crucial points I’ve learned about getting past LDR in my next post.