If there is one drawback to having great times with a partner is that it can be misleading. New to the UK with no solid community base yet apart from my husband, many times he and his family are my only source of social satisfaction. It is misleading because too much of a great time makes me believe that my happiness rests on them. Very wrong. Adversely, when things don’t go my way (if they’re unavailable or my husband and I have an argument), I get into an emotional slump very quickly. I really sweat the small stuff (which my brain thinks are big stuff).
I recently saw Jada Pinkett Smith’s video about prioritizing loving oneself first before loving others. I think it hits the spot. She talked about getting herself centered through meditation. She stressed the importance of giving to ourselves first to fill our emotional and spiritual well before we can give to others. It affected me. I tried it. I realize that every time I get into an emotional slump, it is because of imbalance. I forget my worth. My job every now and then is to center myself and get the love back. Now I have been meditating almost everyday in the mornings and it does make a huge difference in my day. I affirm myself to having a positive day no matter what- whether others are available or not. I let go of control. I feel myself more forgiving. I sense a strong motivation to enjoy the day, even just in my own company. I sense more love for me; from an inside source and not outside. I am more emotionally stable instead of dependent. I am happier, and I bring that happiness and openness to others. I think it benefits them too.
Here is Jada Pinkett Smith’s video. Short but powerful. It bears watching at least once.